It was good to shuffle under the table. There were likes. Hot sperm on the flat of the tongue.

The buzzer rings, she gives me a soft kiss on the lips and goes down to open the door. By the time she has come back up with the man I will be safely in my place in the cupboard by the bed...

I fantasise about a world where...

You get up without breaking the look. It's not my stop and I hesitate for a moment – if I get off here I'll be late meeting my friend. Fuck it, I've been waiting years for this.

The night is busier than I expect, and at first I don’t see you. I scan the room, wanting to find you, wondering if something’s happened and you didn’t make it. Wanting you.